A Bad Mommy Day

This morning started out quite early. The girls had appointments with the doc; Grace for her yearly physical and Mak for her 12 month shots. I somehow managed to pull a whole 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night, *scowl*, and that made the morning start out quite a bit earlier than I would have liked.

In my sleep deprived stupor, I somehow managed to walk out of the house without a bottle for Mak and my wallet for the insurance cards. Not that the insurance cards are that big of a deal because it's the place mom used to work so they trust me and my information, but having a baby bottle with me would have *really* helped out.

Oh. And I forgot to mention that we were about 15 minutes late getting there. I had called and was told that it wouldn't be a problem because he was running late anyway. Mak's appointment was for 8:30 and Grace was scheduled for 8:45. We arrived at 8:45.

By nine, we were sitting in the exam room and patiently sitting through the nurse's role of the visit. You know, the vitals. She does a great job with the girls and I really like her. She finished up and the doctor was right in the room. He also spends a great bit of time with the girls because Grace was the last baby he will ever deliver (he finished his residency two months after she was born). We're almost like friends, and I really dig him.

He finished his exam of the girls and told us to hold on tight for Mak's shots. See, I had asked mom to go along with me because I had mentally prepared myself to spend at least an hour there. However, I didn't expect to spend two hours there.

It was ludicrous, waiting on the shots. Mak was beyond tired and screamed for a solid fifteen minutes. Nothing would do her and good ole Super Mom *donning my red cape to the theme of da-da-da-da*forgot her bottle. I figured that the screaming child would make them rush the shots, but I was waaaaay off in that assumption. *scowl*

We walked out of the doctor's office at 10:40 a.m. Grace was starving by that time, having been up for three friggin' hours, so we headed downstairs to the cafeteria. Mak's heart was broken and her legs were throbbing from the shots, but she piped right down when she smelled food. Ha. (Mak at age 1 weighed in at 25.6 pounds today. Grace at age 4 topped the scale at 35.6 pounds. Ten pounds and three years difference, eh.)

I had to drop mom off at work and then head to school with Grace. I was supposed to be at school by eleven because I had arranged a visit from an educator on Good Touch/Bad Touch and Stranger Danger. Needless to say, I didn't make it.

I hung out and talked to Grace's teacher for a few minutes and then, telling her that I hadn't had four hours of sleep, headed home to pass out. I remember lying in bed and arguing with Mak about throwing her bottle of her crib for me to pick up. I had set two alarms in anticipation of waking up 40 minutes before Grace's bus arrived. And the next thing I knew, I woke up and realized that I had slept right through Grace getting home from school.

Yep, I am really making a play for that Mother Of The Year Award.

I frantically ran around the apartment in search of the telephone. There was a call from Grace's school and a call from Grace's school bus. I was in tears as I called the school. By the time the teacher answered the phone I was ready to dart out the door and find the bus. She laughed as soon as she heard my voice. I didn't find it funny. AT ALL. She told me not to worry because she had told the bus driver that I had probably fallen asleep. And then she called the bus to find out where Grace was.

After a thousand reassurances from her that I wasn't a horrible mother, I went in and told M that I was heading outside to wait on Grace. I had screamed, "HOLY FUCK, M! WE DIDN'T GET GRACE OFF THE BUS!!!!" as soon as I had rolled over in bed and looked at the clock. He was out of bed and dressed in like two seconds. He felt every bit as badly as I did. So bad, in fact, that he was already putting his shoes on to head outside.

Grace handled it well. The bus driver told me not to worry about it because Grace had fun. Grace told me that the kids on the bus had invited her to their houses. But I felt horrible. I felt as if I had abandoned her.

When I explained to her why I wasn't outside to get her, she said, "It's okay, mommy. You can forget me." Tears sprang to my eyes when she said that. Of course, she followed it up with, "I can go to my friend's house the next time," but it didn't make feel any less of a heel that she had told me that it was okay to forget her. As if I could ever forget her.

Gawd. I still feel like the biggest ass in the world. Thankfully everyone at school knows me and knows that this is not the way I usually roll. And they seem to have all taken it much better than I did. And M. He was quite upset with himself too. At least I knew that she was safe because they are not allowed to let Grace off the bus unless I or someone on the emergency list sign her off, so I knew that she was either back at school or still on the bus. Thank god for that, eh, or I would have died. Absolutely died.

So I am heading off to bed because I want tomorrow morning to begin on a much better note. It's Thursday and is yet another very busy day. And M will be dragging in here soon wanting to wake me up and chit chat about how my evening went. It was a full evening but an easy one. Mak took her shots like a champ. We spent the evening grocery shopping and hitting Wally World to buy a ring for Grace. (Got guilt? Ha.) So the evening was much better than the daylight hours. And I have to get to bed so I don't have a repeat of stupid behavior tomorrow.