I'm Babbling Again

The eldest of my two precious brought it to my attention last night, in her best whiny child voice, that she didn't "have a speech teacher." Huh? "Mama, I don't have a speech teachew." Evidently it saddened her while at school yesterday that one of her friends was with her special speech teacher and Grace wasn't part of that crowd. Hmm...What in the world am I going to do with her when she gets old enough to *really* want to do what the others are doing? *frown*

Mom had to do taxes at the library last night so I, in my Super Mom Splendor, decided that I would take the girls and hang out at the library while she was there. I would love to say that it was a horrible idea, but I can't because the girls were at the top of their game. Mak was even on her best behavior and she spent the entire two hours bobbing around in her stroller.

Grace came home with two books. Her school is part of that Pizza Hut "Book It" reading challenge *thinking that's the right name*, and we are supposed to read to Grace for twenty minutes each day. I didn't pay much attention to the rules and regulations because reading to Grace for twenty minutes a day is friggin' gravy. In fact, she had asked and was read to within twenty minutes of getting home yesterday. We totaled about forty five minutes of reading with Grace last night because that's the kind of kid she is. I am blessed.

And on the other side of my maternal fence, Mak managed to tear the pages out of "Tootle," the book about a train, last night. I shouldn't complain, I guess, because both of my girls love to be with books, relishing and digesting them. Grace uses the pages as brain food while Mak chooses to use the pages as a source of her daily fiber requirement. *roll eyes*

And now for a big thing in my life: *drum roll please*

I am teaching Grace how to ride a bike.

You know, that's huge for me, right? And huge on a number of different levels. First of all, it means that she is coming of age. And quickly. And then there's the fact that *I* am the one out there, rooting her on and correcting her, catching her when she tips sideways, and walking up and down the alley umpteen times an evening. But I refuse to go into that, the whole "it's me" thang, because we all know it's me, don't we? It's a given, that. But I do want to put out that it's not me now because I am not in a relationship, but because, while giving me the stability of not being a single mom, The Universe has, for some unknown reason, manipulated my life so, while moving onward and upward, I am still left alone for most of my daughters' waking hours.

I could go on and on about how I have a written list in Grace's baby scrapbook by her dad, TCSD, of the things he wanted to do with Grace and teaching her to ride a bike was one of those things. But it was pointed out to me a while ago in an email that he simply didn't have the ability to give things like that and so I have decided to let it go. It's a long and tedious process, letting it go, and I still have not completely forgiven him, but I am working on it. And I'm getting closer.

In fact, the part of the forgiveness that really has me hung up right now doesn't have much at all to do with me or Grace, but rather the fact that he has allowed himself to become a man with no sense of responsibility and another victim of a condition that can be managed should he ever decide to step up to the plate and manage it. I'm mad at him for what he's allowed himself to become. And who the hell am I to be mad at him for that? It's really not my affair. But it's just the fact that whether or not he and I remained together is irrelevant; he could still have a relationship with his daughter and an amicable one with me (because, after all, I'm the Queen of the Exes) should he decide to smarten the fuck up.

And with that, I am done with that babble. (For today, anyway)Ha.

And in other news...

I have set up an account with greasy. But WalkingWithGrace exceeded their name limit and I don't really dig the one I picked so I imagine I will wait until I come up with one that I really like. But I'm one step closer to getting to the other side.

Well, I have been turned onto a web site that helps pre-schoolers learn to read and, since I have been told countless times by Teach that Grace is ready for this, I am going to go and poke around there for a bit while Mak and M are snoring through the baby monitor. It won't be long before I have to wake him, so, with the dishwasher running and dinner planning itself in my head, I am going to stop the babbling now. It's nice to take the time to sit here and babble. I miss my want to blog.